My husband and I try our hardest to not allow our emotions surrounding TTC to control us. It is easier said than done. It may not be a great place to be, wallowing in one’s misery and self-guilt. I think we have a pretty good balance but recently I was tested and presented him with such a negative attitude. I did the one thing men complain about, saying I was fine knowing I wasn’t.  I truthfully was unaware as to the reason why but after some introspection on a long drive together, I looked at him and confessed that the most recent cycle had hit me harder than I expected. The word expect seems odd because I don’t have expectations each month, rather I don’t believe that I do but the disappointment still hits the same. I guess some could argue that my disappointment is attached to expectations.

The point of this blog is to help release some of the self-guilt that comes along with the journey. Last year, I was a presenter for a grief writing workshop. I encouraged my audience to write through their journey and I try to follow my own advice, hence this blog. During the workshop, we acknowledged many forms of loss and what that means for each person. The one feeling that I think James and I endure the most is unworthiness. When things don’t go as hoped, we constantly doubt if it should be for us. We somehow instantly feel as if we are not good enough.

What are some practices or tips you follow to help you avoid the feeling of unworthiness during a TTC journey?

Our practice is to confront each other with our feelings and embrace the moment while recognizing that it will pass. We have an upcoming fertility appointment this month. Our goal for the new year was to allow ourselves grace during the rough patches and to rely heavily on each other for support. The main goal is to remove any negative thoughts associated with our TTC journey and insert positivity as often as possible. We often have moments of reflection through individual and couple meditation. We know that a sound body and mind are healthier than an anxious or frustrated daily life.

Here are some tips/practices that have helped us through the undesirable moments:

• Sound meditations (many example videos can be found on YouTube)
• Affirmations (many example videos can be found on YouTube) – we like to send each other videos/images/gifs/texts throughout the month.
• Gospel/Praise sessions – Prayer
• Time alone together (enjoy something light-hearted) – we love to play card games like Uno or video games.