Many of our close family members and friends know how James and I met. Let’s take it back a bit further, because we truly believe our meeting was nothing short of serendipitous. James moved to Charlotte, NC from Rochester, NY in 2008 to attend Johnson & Wales University. The funny thing is, I was accepted into JWU Charlotte and was set to attend but declined the offer to stay home in Miami, FL and help my mother who wasn’t well. Fast forward to 2019. We met on a dating app (IYKYK) and when we had our very first meet up James confessed that he was almost cast on Married at First Sight. Honestly, I was more baffled than anything. Of course, I was excited for him, but I had applied and had a virtual interview. James let me know he didn’t apply and was contacted directly by the casting crew. I was jealous!! Like, excuse me? I was a superfan and had watched literally every season. I also applied to the Charlotte season. I had an interview with producers and was not called back. (Actually, I do recall an unknown number calling around that time but there was no voicemail and I DO NOT answer unknown numbers, thanks iphone screening!) He had never heard of the show until then. We clearly moved past this. I mean, look at him, I would cast him!

In our eyes we had too many coincidences for us not to listen to the universe. We felt like we were meant to be together. Those instances and of course the long phone convos, endless facetimes, dates, and meeting his family. We met in February 2019. He asked me to be his girlfriend in March (Yes, you read that right. I love the old school vibe of being asked out.) I hope everyone I know has that experience; it truly sets the tone with intentionality. In July of 2019, he proposed, and we got married in September of 2020.

The theme of this blog will most definitely have to be intentions. I must say that we had very hard conversations early on. We discussed whether we want kids, our finances, our individual goals, etc. Most importantly we were willing to hold each other accountable. Meaning, it is not just words OR actions but both. I was very happy to find someone who was just as family oriented as myself. After losing my mom in 2015, I was worried that I wouldn’t find MY person. Yes, I considered my mom my person in a soulful way. She was my very best friend, and I wasn’t certain that I could find someone who would love me in the same capacity. I have an open-heart tattoo on my left wrist which symbolizes that a heart is open and can give as much as it can receive because there are no limits. That is the love I was seeking. I am very thankful to have someone to experience this journey called life with.

To all who may have lost a very dear loved one, know that you are not alone. Know that your grief may be in ebbs and flows but the love you have for them will remain always. Let’s heal together.

If anyone is interested in learning to use writing as a tool to navigate grief, please reach out to me at www.morementorllc.org

Marlene and James, 2019